Are Couples Making Through the Pandemic?

Many couples coming for therapy have asked if their bickering, snapping, and impatience is ‘the norm’ among marrieds during the pandemic. Rather than give an opinion, I did some research to get a good feel for it. The gist is, not all couples are feeling stresses and dealing with it the same way. 1. Young couples are dealing better than old age couples2. same sex couples , african-american couples, other minorities are not surviving as healthily as their counterparts3. Couples who have unhealthy attachment styles are very stressed.4. Couples who were strong, committed, and grounded are thrivingAlways go for the evidence. Never the opinion. Seek the Sciences


Art of Negotiation

Negotiations get stuck when there is a desire to put one over the other. The winner-takes-all mentality makes us do things which undermine honesty, integrity, and often lead to negativity, anger and hurt. And, when we engage hurt and violence, we become aggressive and selfish. The negative mindset then makes us vice-grip our position…stalemate happens. But, there is another way. There is a way to negotiate that builds relationships and friendships which then strengthens and binds businesses. And that is to seek ways to give the other what is essential or important to him whist considering what is important to ourselves as well. This method of negotiation requires trust, transparency, and justice as key values.


Anxiety over the New Normal

As of this writing, the Philippine government has not lifted the quarantine measures and there are no solutions in sight to handle the Wuhan virus and its effects on the Philippine economy, transport needs, workers needs, health needs. It is a tough time and this exacerbates mental health. In this webinar, I speak about how the losses of certainty, security, connection continue to affect mental health. View the video here.

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You are Always Enough

Covid-19 Challenge: Take care of yourself because you are always enough

Feeling enough

Our minds cannot help but compare ourselves to others all the time.

There are many reasons why we do this: to check whether we are progressing at the same rate as others; to feel better about ourselves; to evaluate opinions and abilities; to improve ourselves.

Constant comparing ourselves, however, can do more harm than good. It brings harm especially when we wrongly compare: our whole lives to a picture of our friends’ sunny vacation in France; our success with the BMW of a neighbor.

Making wrong comparisons depletes our self-belief, confidence, motivation.

We are all unique and with varying talents and therefore varying journeys in life.

Comparing oneself to another is like comparing apples and oranges.

It’s almost impossible as the textures, scents, taste profiles are different.

Happiness, peace, well-being come from within.

Understand that there is more right with you than wrong with you.

You have more gifts and talents than you can ever use.

You have more value than anyone object can identify. You are enough right now and you deserve to be loved.

Reflection Question:
Did you give yourself a hug today, acknowledging the value you are in the world?

Reflection in Action:
Learn to enjoy the day without accomplishment

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Kuwentuhan Covid

Online discussion on developing coping skills in light of Covid-19

Life in Manila has changed dramatically since the implementation of ECQ. Many are climbing up the walls with so much time and equal amounts of anxiety. Many complain that they have so much work and time to do it but remain in a ‘funk’ unable to do anything worth the paper it is written on. Such is the effect of anxiety and stress — the mind ruminates, imbalances of hormones rage, our moods are unpredictable.

Whist it looks like a runaway train, there are a few tricks we can use: create daily schedules, do activities that calm the nerves are some. For example, you know that bag of junk food is beckoning but it makes you feel ‘ugh’ after. Simply, keep the junk food in the cupboard and keep a basket of fruit nearby. The science shows that a simple change in environment can help create a change in habit.


Making Relationships Work during Covid-19

Relationships are on trial as Covid-19 rages. Family members snipe and gripe. Everyone tries to get understanding and support from the other, but somehow, it is thin in coming. It is unfair to judge your spouse or demand from them at such an unusual trying time. There are simply too many points of uncertainty. Work on your relationship by focusing on your inner growth. Develop listening skills, self-reflection, test your personal strengths. Be there for yourself, try to give, but take care of yourself first. Once the situation normalises, attitudes and loving gestures will return as well. Watch the full Webinar here.


Week 2 : Covid-19 and well-being

Online coaching program with Bonnie Factor, (Leadeing with Success Founder) & Marlon Valderama (Lexmeet founder). Topic, HR issues related to employee retention during the covid pandemic

How can you keep positive, energetic, engaged, and hopeful at a time when there seems nothing but challenges ahead? Focus on what you can control. Keep moving forward by doing things which we are responsible for. Work on your personal or professional development, strengthen your network of friends and business relationships by reaching out to them. Re-do your business plan —set new goals and create new innovative pathways to reach them.

Business scenarios are always changing. This is just one of those changes we all need to deal with

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Makati, Metro Manila, Philippines

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