Duchess arrived at bunny heaven on December 26, 2017 at 12;02pm. Witnessing her journey for a couple of weeks brought me to reflect how life would be without her. She was a companion, a rock, a soft spot, a gentle light in good times. Someone nice to come home to at end of a wary day. My life would change without my alter-ego. I will now have to eat bananas with no one to share with, sleep till 8am and not wake up at 5am to let her out of her bedroom. No longer trek to a grocery store to by fresh vegetables every fortnight. Hard and lonely times are ahead.
But then again, because she was such a big spirit, her passing has left a huge gap that i can fill with a multitude of things —crafts, new program designs, and some challenging goals. All this energy I got from seeing her enjoying and trusting life to be good to her.
Then, I reflect on my clients and how it must be difficult to end relationships with their past —whether the relationship was healthy or unhealthy—and how difficult it is for them to imagine “what else can i do with my life…this is all I know?” How difficult it is to leave addition to sex, drugs, and alcohol because they were also a source of comfort at the same time a cause for pain. How difficult it is to run away from an abusive relationship—specially if it is all one knows —to cast ones net into the unknown. Whether it was abusive or addictive or not, it was all they knew and all they somehow found comfort and meaning of life within.
Reflecting on that now, it is no wonder why abused women stay in relationships that damn their life. A hell they know is simply better than the unknown. Coaxing them to step into the light a little at a time takes all their strength.